Grieving the end of beautiful things. Enthusiastically anticipating what’s next…
You know that famous Dr. Suess quote,”don’t cry because it’s over smile because it happened?”
While I do love that quote, today I beg to differ.
I don’t tend to be outwardly emotional.
I feel a lot, and I feel deeply (#empath), but rarely does it all “come out.”
The last week of the school year is notoriously hard for me. Unlike many parents who shed a tear when they send their kids off on the first day of school, I tend to well up in those last few days, as I find myself grieving what was my kids’ perfect little reality for 9 months.
This week also concluded two of my Beyond Book Club groups, including my BBC “Intensive” today. For the last 7 weeks, six women have shown up BIG for a more in-depth, higher accountability small group coaching and book discussion group.
I witnessed visible changes: physical, emotional and even spiritual, in a relatively short time, and with that brought tears of pride and purpose. The power that we all have to create massive change in our lives is always at our fingertips. To see it harnessed and take on a life of it’s own is impressive to say the least.
While it’s easy (and completely normal) to be sad when good things come to an end, I always I feel extra ‘raw’ in light of this crazy time of year, the shift into a completely new season, kids are out of school, work-balance, and the unknowns that come with all of it!
Feeling unsettled, even if it’s for good reason, can, and usually will augment any feelings we do experience; grief, joy, frustration…all of them!
I feel a tangible shift of unsettledness. And even though by now I’m aware enough to recognize it, it still affects me.
What I also know however, is that this is normal and also an important part of how we grow and evolve, if we allow it.
“IT’S ALRIGHT TO CRY”
Does anyone remember the ballad “It’s Alright to Cry” from the epic 70s Free to Be You and Me? I have always loved it and have played that soundtrack for my boys since they were babies.
As my 7 year old cried and cried after saying goodbye to his beloved teacher today, we found ourselves first trying to distract him, then cheer him up…until I realized this was doing him a huge disservice.
He had just said goodbye to a magical teacher, a room full of classmates and friends, and a year of his life that changed and molded him forever. Of course he should cry! He should be allowed to be sad and grieve that loss.
At one point he asked why nothing was making him feel better (heart-wrenching) and I told him it would just take time. A hard lesson that we have to relearn over and over again, but thankfully, with time, things do feel better.
The purpose of all of this?
Just to remind you that if you’re feeling funky, out of sorts, even a little sad, whether you have kids of not, just lean into it.
Lean in and feel all the things you’re feeling.
Don’t let unsettledess cause you to shut down, numb out or turn away from yourself.
Seasons change. Kids grow up. Perfect groups of people (kids, teachers, classrooms, book clubs, travel groups, etc.) come to an end. Its hard. It hurts. But it’s only because we loved it/them so much.
I mean, how lucky are we to have experienced that?!
And knowing that we did allows us to be CERTAIN we’ll experience it again soon. It’s just another chapter of our wonderful, magical, unique and exciting life that we are fortunate enough to be living!
So cry because it’s over, it’s SAD. Don’t deny that. Cry, grieve, take the time you need, but then smile because it did happen, and because you’re a different and better person for it, and because you know it’s going to happen again.
Lots of love and happy summer!
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